Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Love Jesus

Disclaimer: We’re gonna talk more about marriage than dating because the Bible doesn’t directly address dating but it talks an awful lot about marriage. Okay? Okay.

I’m gonna say this, plain and simple:

It’s not easy to find someone you like who is following Jesus whom you can potentially see yourself falling in love with.

But don’t give up and decide it’s okay to date anyone regardless of their faith. We are very clearly told that we are not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV). What’s that actually mean, though?

Let’s take a deeper look at this verse and see exactly what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he wrote this verse and, specifically, the words “unequally yoked.”

“A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.”[1]

Here’s the whole verse:

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV).

Now picture that image that is discussing marriage between believer and unbeliever. You don’t get anything done. You only go ’round and ’round in circles when you try to make decisions because you’re on opposing ends of the spectrum when it comes to what you believe is important.

Let me give you a few examples:

1. Say you meet someone in college and he’s the guy of your dreams (minus the following Jesus part). The two of you decide to get married right after graduation. You both get decent jobs as soon as you graduate (yay, you!) As soon as you get your first paychecks, you go to give 10% of both of your checks – or even just yours, to your church and he has an issue with that. See the problem?
2. A few years into your marriage, you now have a 2 year old and another baby on the way. After this baby comes, you’d really like to adopt because you have a heart for ministry and caring others. He says you have a perfectly healthy body and doesn’t understand why you’d want to adopt.
3. You would really like to take your kids to church, but he says absolutely not. What do you do?

I really hope you see where I’m going with this. Marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian is a constant battle that we are not meant to fight.   God intended marriage to be a beautiful thing.   He didn’t intend for marriage to be chaos. Yes, you will have ups and downs, but if you ride them, you will find beauty in the journey.

Don’t even go down the road of thinking about the possibility of being with someone until you know for sure that they are completely head over heels for your Savior before they’re going to fall in love with you. Especially when you think that person does love Jesus to find out that they don’t. Just be absolutely 100% certain. Protect your heart – someday, someone will cherish it. For now, rest in the fact that your Savior loves you more than you can comprehend.

Bibliography

“What does it mean to be unequally yoked?,” Got Questions Ministries, accessed July 7, 2017, [https://www.gotquestions.org/unequally-yoked.html].
[1] “What does it mean to be unequally yoked?,” Got Questions Ministries, accessed July 7, 2017, [https://www.gotquestions.org/unequally-yoked.html].