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I wrote this journal entry on my phone around this time last year and I wanted to share how different my life is now.

 

I recently had anxiety and depression. I take pills for it but I missed three days. It caused a change in me, a not so good one. I didn’t value life. I basically would lay on the couch and mope, wondering why I’m even here. I didn’t want to live anymore. So many days I would contemplate suicide. I never thought I’d be okay again. I kept saying to myself day after day, “You won’t be here tomorrow.” I never actually attempted suicide, but it ran through my mind constantly. I always wondered how people could end their life without having something to live for. I always thought there’s no way you can feel that down where you think the only way out is suicide. I now know that feeling. It’s the worst feeling. Eventually, the medicine kicked in again and I started to realize I have things to live for. I didn’t want to do anything for those two weeks. But somehow I managed to fit music into my schedule of moping and not valuing life. I listened to Invisible by Hunter Hayes a lot. It said a lot about me and what I was going through. So Hunter Hayes, from the bottom of my heart, I want to say thank you. You may never read this, but I want you to know you saved my life without even knowing it. And I think that is the greatest thing you could ever do for someone. It’s amazing how even a song can change someone’s perspective.

 

 

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About Author

19. Singer/Songwriter. Amplifier. Penn State Nittany Lion. John 16:33. Take Heart.

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