Disclaimer This was not written in the recent past.
My mind has been on relationships a lot lately, particularly Christian relationships. For a multitude of reasons. And when I say relationships, I’m particularly talking about romantic relationships.
If someone you are romantically interested in cannot put effort into prioritizing your relationship, they are not worth your time.
Please, hear me when I say that. I beg you.
You probably know what they are doing daily if you’re dating or “talking” to someone and if they can’t manage to talk to you on the phone on a semi regular basis or put the effort in to see you, why are you with them? No one has so very little time that they cannot pick up the phone for 5 minutes to talk to someone that they like. Moreso, if they want to be “with you,” they’re going to want to be with you hanging out.
If you know for a fact that they have plenty of time but are making it seem like they’re incredibly busy, stop talking to them (romantically). Stop giving them the time of day, because you are worth so much more than that and someone, someday will value you and put effort into a relationship with you. Just because they refuse to do so right now doesn’t mean that you must settle for that kind of behavior.
Nope. You can gracefully tell them that you deserve to be a priority and you can still be friends with that person if you’re both civil human beings. But that doesn’t mean you should accept that in a romantic relationship. Got it? Good. Because I feel like a broken record right now.
It’s perfectly okay to have high standards, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Gosh, I can’t even say how many times I’ve heard “You expect too damn much.” No, I don’t. I don’t date for fun. So I’m not looking for someone to just hang out with when I think about dating. I’m considering whether they’d actually be someone I could see myself with. Yeah, I know that’s a lot. It’s a hell of a lot. But that’s living with intention.
It doesn’t mean we’re gonna get married. It means we have similar values, interests, and most importantly, beliefs. It means we can both be ourselves around each other. And preferably he’s not a giant stick in the mud.
High standards are a good thing. Especially in Christian relationships. You should be holding one another to high standards, especially once you are already dating. Before you are dating, you should be looking for character traits that are indicative of strong character and a desire to honor and glorify God in everything.
You have to know that you are worth so much more than to not be valued. So I’ll leave you with this — for a Christian relationship to succeed and flourish, Jesus must be your first focus. Jesus must be the person you would like to date or are dating’s first focus. You can’t be one another’s primary focus.
“Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure” (Psalm 62:5-6 CEV).
You cannot get your peace from another human being or anything else in this world. I promise you that. Peace only comes from Jesus.